Meet your inner advocate
Hello my beautiful visionary friends! How are you doing with all of the social isolation because of COVID-19? Although the isolation has been tough, we can look for a silver lining. What has been really cool though has been seeing how the art community has responded to this crisis; I've seen a lot of galleries having virtual exhibitions, and lots of communities forming having Zoom conversations to keep the human interaction going. I do have to say though I miss going to exhibitions and seeing people within the art community! Even though artists are typically ok with being more solo people, after a few weeks I was definitely ready for things to go back to normal! I can’t wait to get into today's topic which is actually a really powerful concept, and something I can't wait to share with you as I think it's going to be very useful to you!
To listen to my podcast episode on the same topic, click here.
Today’s topic is about meeting your inner Advocate. As artists, we all have a tender side to us. Most artists I've met have always loved creating, and making art has been a lifelong journey that began when they were children. They remember expressing themselves as some of their earliest memories. I remember one of my very first memories was drawing. I couldn't have been more than 5 years old, and I was laying belly down on the floor, and I remember it was blue carpet. I had paper and a pencil in front of me, and I was drawing. I just remember knowing that this was it. I had this inner knowing that this is what I was going to do with my life. Nothing at the time matched the joy that I felt and the total control that I had over my world on the paper. I could make everything in my imagination come true on the paper, and communicate stories, words, ideas. I just loved it, it felt like magic. There was definitely a time where I felt like I was boundless in my creativity, and I had no fear of rejection, no sense of competition, and just a sense of expanding to fulfill my creativity.
Think back to when you were a child and you discovered art for the first time. Do you remember the joy and the magic that made you fall in love with creativity? Do you remember that sense of losing track of time, that boundless feeling of being totally absorbed in creating? Think back to when creating had no pressures but the absolute pleasure of making something.
As we grow up, we start to have experiences of rejection as we move out of childhood and into the world. We learn about the concept of money, we start to form judgments around money and art, and we start to have experiences of competition. Maybe you remember the first time your artwork was judged harshly. Maybe you have a lot of those memories! But, if you're still an artist today, you were able to still keep that spark alive of joy and pride in what you do.
As adults now and still choosing to be artists, we have choices every day about how to run our art career. And now we have lots of input coming to us from memories of our early experiences with art, and also our experiences in art school, which can help or hinder us. I listen to the podcast the Jealous Curator and I remember the host telling one of the artists she's interviewing that she was told by a professor that she should just stop painting. So she did for like 10 years or something, which is just tragic! Have you ever had an experience like that?
I have had several experiences like that. Both were in art school. One was during undergraduate, where several professors told me that I probably wasn't going to pass the 2 year review, which is where all the professors get together and discuss whether or not you have what it takes to make it as an artist, and then if they decide you aren't good enough, you aren't allowed to finish out the next two years in an art major and are required to change it. I remember being shocked being told that, because in my head it was settled: this is what I was going to do with my life, and nothing was knocking me off that course. And, I felt like I was trying really hard! I knew what I was capable of, and I was just shocked that they couldn't see it. Well, it stung for a while, and then I got a little angry, and I was like, this isn't what's going to happen. So I worked really really hard for that month and overproduced work that was of a higher caliber than I had been making. I remember feeling the tide turn, when the professors started looking at me after I turned in my projects with an approving eye. And, I passed!
When I tried to go to graduate school, I had to apply three times to the school I ended up going to, the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, in order to go there. I had to make a new body of work each time! But eventually, I did it—I got in.
And once I was in, it was my first experience in the modern art world. Which is great because it really exposed me to the good and the bad of today's contemporary art world. The thing is it's like with everything else, you have to take the good out of the experience and use it to your advantage, especially if you're paying for it. You can't allow people to destroy your will. I remember one lady came in to my studio for a private critique. She was a well known visiting artist, and she told me I couldn't paint. She said “Most people can paint figures by your age (I was 26 at the time), so if you can't paint figures by now you should probably just give up.” She literally said those words! I remember just staring at her at a loss for words, as I was surrounded by all these big paintings in my studio, paying lots of money per year, about to graduate. What do you say when someone you respect literally is so rude to your face? Eventually I was like, “Oh, ok, thank you for your feedback”.
So, I know what it is to feel that vicious sting of rejection from the art world—in college and even beyond! For every 10 compliments you get about your work, you'll get someone being critical, and even harsh. Constructive, kind criticism is one thing, but if it's unnecessarily cutting, then just know that something about you is triggering that person who is criticizing you, and it is 100% about them needing to feel “above” you. Just respond with kindness and strength, and you can often disarm their criticism of you.
All of this to say that the mixed responses to your work that you may have gotten throughout your life may have created within you fear about moving forward in your career, being seen, or taking big risks. After all, the negative experiences that have to do with your art probably came about when you were stepping forward in your artistic career, taking a risk by showing your work, or opening up to someone about your work, and were hurt by their rejection of it.
You see, your inner artist is that beautiful, innocent, childlike spirit that comes out in pure inspiration when an idea comes to you, you are carried away in a good day of painting, and you are expressing yourself with pure delight. That is your inner artist who needs to retain that childlike innocence and protection of their spirit in order to move the work forward, give it life, and a fearless vision—just like how you created without fear as a child. Your inner artist creates for joy, for the fun and play of it, to create worlds, to delight in color and texture, to invite others into their private world, to expand their imagination . In order for your inner artist to feel safe to expand and create, they must feel safe! Your inner artist must feel taken care of, valued, appreciated, and loved. They must feel they are special and that their vision is the best, most sparkly, genius thing ever. With gratitude and praise and belief in them, your inner artist will grow their skills and spread their wings. When they feel safe, your inner artist child will mature and create fearlessly the ideas that were made to be born from them. The inner artist is courageous because we must uncover our heart, the most vulnerable part of ourselves. And the more true to ourselves we are, the better and more touching the art is.
But what happens when your inner artist child is hurt by art professionals, when their dreams are laughed at, or when their self esteem is trampled on so many times that they feel afraid to move forward? This is when we start to self-sabotage in order to avoid rejection. Have you ever not applied for something you really wanted, because you felt like you wouldn't win anyway, so why try? Or, you procrastinate starting your masterpiece because you don't think you have enough skills yet, or you don’t get your website up because you convince yourself that you're not good enough to start selling your work yet? This is just your inner artist child, the sensitive, vulnerable, innocent part of you who is trying to protect themselves from past rejections, future rejections, and shame. It has kept you safe for a long time by doing this. You can thank your inner artist child for keeping you safe, but let them know that they are going to be taken care of from now on!
Enter the Advocate.
The Advocate is a different part of you that also lives within your personality. The Advocate is awesome, but in a different way than your inner artist child. Think of the Advocate as the adult part of you that will take care of your inner artist child from now on. The Advocate will make sure your inner artist child is fed, clothed, gets regular walks and play, and praise about the amazing work that they are doing. If you have children, think about how you want the absolute best life for your children. You will work hard for them by making sure they have a roof over their head, food to eat, and by giving them praise and encouragement to follow their dreams. You give them all the love you can. You want them to have a great life, and will go to bat for them, right? If they are in an unfair situation, you will set about making it right. If they have a chance of getting into the best school, you help them to get the spot, by supporting them, staying up late to help them apply, and by being there for them. You protect them, but you also help them make their way in the world by providing them with the best opportunities that you can.
This is how I want you to think of your Advocate. Just like your hypothetical child deserves love, support, and the best chance at a good life, SO DOES YOUR INNER ARTIST CHILD. It is your inner Advocate's responsibility to make sure your inner artist child takes every chance so that they have the best career. It's helpful to think of your Advocate as a different identity than your inner artist child because I know that as artists, we can take things very personally. Our art is an extension of our most tender part of our selves, and facing rejection can be crushing. But if it's your Advocate's job to take care of you, some of that inevitable pain of growth and rejection can be mitigated. Your Advocate's job is to apply for that residency where you inner artist child would thrive. Your Advocate will help you apply for art school.
Your Advocate will get your website done so that your inner artist child will have a way to make an income with their art. Your Advocate will email a few galleries a week inquiring about representation. Your Advocate will balance the budget to make sure your inner artist child can eat this month. Your Advocate will respond to emails in a timely manner so that people will want to work with your inner artist child. Your Advocate will drive your inner artist child to the exhibition so they can meet people that could help their career. Your Advocate will get up early so your inner artist child can play all day in the studio and create something amazing. Your Advocate will apply to exhibitions and risk rejection so that your inner artist child can have the best life possible. Your Advocate believes and loves and even cherishes your inner artist child so that they thrive. Your Advocate will create structure for your inner artist child, to help them feel safe.
The Advocate feels the fear of rejection and moves forward anyway, because it loves the inner artist child and wants them so succeed.
So next time you want to apply for something but feel like it's too much work, or you shy away from something because of a fear of rejection, call on your inner Advocate to take front and center, and ask yourself, what would my Advocate do in this situation? Would they go the extra mile in order to take care of my inner artist child?
I like to think of my Advocate as the CEO of a major company, in a beautiful cream power suit, briefcase in hand, ready to go to bat for me. She is always in my corner and ready to jump at any opportunity that will give my inner artist child a better life. She is willing to go the extra mile to fulfill her obligations, be assertive, reach above her current status, and secure the best possible life for her charge: my inner artist child. She believes in my inner artist child's vision and represents her wholeheartedly. When my inner artist child is innocent and emotional and tender, my Advocate is strong, protective, assertive and mature, able to handle anything and take care of business.
So, I'd like to ask you now, what is your inner artist child like? And, what about your inner Advocate? It might help to give them an outfit, a personality, so you can visualize them when you need to channel your Advocate energy and get an application done, finish a deadline, or do the caring work of sheltering your inner artist child and giving them the best life possible.
Just remember that if you have a child, nothing is too good for them, right? You wouldn't think twice about trying to get them the best education or opportunity. So think about your inner artist child the same way. She is relying on you to help her get somewhere—and your Advocate can do all that work, so your inner artist child can create from the heart in a pure space of creativity.
So, this is a bit of an unconventional way of thinking about taking care of yourself as an artist, but I've found it can be really helpful to be able to switch between roles as the CEO and creator in chief of your own art career.
Let me know what you thought about this idea in this post! Feel free to shoot me a DM on Instagram at @visionaryartistssalon, or you can always email me at jlibor@jessicalibor.com.
I hope you got tremendous value out of this! I just actually launched a coaching course for artists called the Artist Soul Mastery Academy, and this is a 3 month intensive one on one course that is meant to transform your confidence and identity as an artist from the inside out. This is for the artist ready to up-level their vibe and career, and is ready to be seen and step forward into their full potential! If you're interested in finding out more, just email me at jlibor@jessicalibor.com and we can do a free consultation call, in which I'll give you 30 minutes of my time on Zoom assessing where you are in your art career, and how you can begin to build confidence by building your presence online and selling more work.
I can’t wait to connect with you.
Remember you have the power to take care of yourself and your inner artist child. Your inner advocate has got you!
Image credit: Kerasan Lamar Photography
xox,